Smile
by PristineK
Summary: I love him and I would do anything just to make him happy even if it meant of ruining my chances with him, even if it meant me facing the pain that comes with it. HarryBlaise!female


**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters. Just the plot.

**Authors Notes:** Hello! This is my second one-shot. Bit AU. This is a **Harry/Blaise (female)** story again. Hope you'll like it! Thanks again:)

**Smile  
**_by Kristine_

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Jealousy. A feeling that can give you different emotions. A feeling of anger, hatred, pain and love. I didn't know that I was able to have all these emotions at once. It was something that was barely there. I knew what it was. I knew how it would feel. But I didn't know it would drive me crazy.

Having all of these feelings inside me made me want to scream. It made me want to release it out in to the open. But certain situations tell me I mustn't. It tells me to put a smile on my face. It told me to be happy. It told me to care. But it never really knew what I wanted to do now did it?

I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to be alone. But here I am standing in this crowd with mixed up feelings inside that is currently getting worse as I contemplate more of what I am feeling. I hate it. I feel so pathetic. I felt like pitying myself. I tried to push away these emotions but I'm a failure in things like these. A voice suddenly pulls me out of my reveries. I almost jumped out of surprise.

"Hey" the voice said.

"Hi" I replied pulling up the smile that I kept on giving people all day.

"So..."

"So... uh... Good luck today!" I said keeping the smile on my face.

"Yeah.. yeah.. er.. Thanks! Uh.. Listen.. uhm.. Do you mind going back to our place? You know, for old time's sake?"

"Oh yeah.. sure.." My heart suddenly paced up as I went out with him.

Yes. Him. Him as in the love of my life. The only person who ever made me feel special. The person who made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Him as in the person who was about to get married in just minutes to a girl who is not me. Him as in my best friend. Him as in the boy –who-lived, Harry James Potter.

My heart raced as I suddenly felt a hand slip through mine and my feet started to move. It was a usual habit for the both of us. But of course for me it meant something more special. I smiled as he led me out and into our special place. Our. Yes. The place only him and I know. The place where we would stay whenever we're bored, whenever one is pissed of, or whenever ones happy. It was the place where we would always stay.

We finally arrived. It wasn't very far but it felt like an eternity as a sense of tension built itself between us. He let go of my hand and sat down at one of the benches he and I moved here for comfort. He looked up at me. As our eyes met, I suddenly felt like crying. But I can't I need to show him happiness on his day. I smiled instead and took the seat next to him. He smiled back and looked around the place.

It was majestic to put it short. It was a place that he found while we were playing hide and seek when we were kids. From then on we spent most of our times here. It was of the utmost green. Full of trees that are oh so green with flowers growing from its leaves. Looking north, one can find a small lake that was very much clear as the sky was reflected over it. The ground was of green grass that was clear of any mud or dirt but just pure grass. Of course we also put a little touch of our own. Naming a few, one can find 2 benches, a swing and a small raft that we built when we finally was able to use magic outside of school. I smiled as I reminisced that moment.

"_Blaise! Come over here!" Harry shouted from the raft that was floating a few feet away from the shoreline. _

"_I don't think so! I am not in any circumstances getting my dress wet!" I said with mock disgust._

"_Fine. Then ill come over and get you, even if it means carrying you." He said a smirk forming on his face. _

"_Oh no you wouldn't" I said taking a step back._

"_Oh yes I would. You know me." He said a clear full blown smirk was plastered on his face. _

"_Don't you dare come near me, Potter" _

_But too late. He was already on land as he had jumped out of the raft. I started to take a few steps back. He was quickening his pace as I was mine. He was nearing me as he had much bigger strides. I turned around and broke into a run. I ran as fast as I could but I knew he runs faster than me. And I soon found myself swept of my feet by Harry and was now heading for the raft which was floating a few feet away from land. _

"_Put me down, Potter!" I said trying to haul myself out of his arms. _

"_Nope. Not until you come with me onto the raft." He said in as a matter-of-factly tone._

_He was now standing on the edge of the lake. He looked at me with a smirk on his face. Uh-oh. That is not good. I looked at him wide-eyed._

"_Oh no…. Harry… HARRY!" I screamed as he suddenly jumped of the edge and onto the raft. _

_He landed and grinned. _

"_Told you it was ok. Nothing to worry about getting wet huh?"_

_I was about to reply when suddenly the raft swayed and Harry lost his balance. He was still carrying me and we both fell into the water. The water was quite deep. I swam myself onto the surface and headed for the edge of the lake, soon followed by Harry. I was fuming by that time and fully drenched from top to toe._

"_Not getting wet huh?" I repeated sarcastically._

"_At least you had fun." He said grinning, his hair drenched and unruly than ever. _

"_Fun? You call this fun!"_

"_Well you can't hide the fact you had fun! Look at you all cute, drenched and smiling!" he said as he pulled himself up and into land._

"_Huh?" I said as I suddenly realized I was grinning like crazy. _

_He held out a hand as he pulled me up and into land. He smiled at me. I can't resist smiling back. _

"_Well.. I guess I did have fun.." I said with a smile._

"_Told you so. I always make you smile don't I?" he said grinning like mad._

"_Oh yes you do!" I said punching him slightly on the arm and grinned._

"_I think we should head of. Look at both of us! We're fully drenched!" I said looking over myself. _

"_Complaining now are we?" he said raising an eye brow. _

"_No I think were just too cute to be like this! Now let's go!" _

I smiled after the thought. He always made me smile with his different schemes. I chuckled at this. Apparently he heard me and looked at me puzzled. I shrugged and smiled. He then smiled again.

"Hey, remember the time we both fell into the lake?" he said. What a coincidence.

"Oh yeah. That was hilarious!" I said smiling. This was one of my few genuine smiles all day. I barely had any. Mostly I would just give a forced one to show my happiness of the situation but all day I really felt pain.

"Yeah…" he then looked out again. Reminiscing this way with him made my insides all tingly but something wanted to be out. Something that I would call pain as reality struck me. I was trying to push back the pain from appearing on my face. I sighed. Tears were starting to form. But I can't. I needed to be happy.

"Are you ok?" he said as he looked at me with utmost concern. I probably didn't notice him look at me as I was dealing with my emotions.

"Yeah. I'm great. I'm fine. I'm good!" I hastily blurted out with a forced smile.

I knew he wasn't satisfied with the answer.

"Blaise. I've known you. I know you when you have a problem. Please tell me Blaise. I'm not happy when you aren't. You know you can't hide it from me." He took my hand in his as he said this.

"No, I'm f-fine" Tears was already forming in my eyes. My voice showing signs of my hidden emotions. His hand gripped mine harder. He looked at me.

"No you're not. I know when you are. Blaise just stop being so stubborn and tell me! I care for you! And I don't want seeing you like this. I know when something is up. Please Blaise, please tell me!"

And my emotions came out just like that. Tears were already flowing on my face. I felt the sadness come out. I felt like disappearing. I didn't want him seeing me like this. I couldn't take it anymore. The tension was growing and so were my emotions wanting to be out. But I was unable to find my voice. I was panicking inside.

"Harry… I…" I looked down as more tears cascaded down my face. He tilted it back up.

"Blaise, look at me. Blaise, what's the problem? What's up?" I looked at him and saw his love and concern for me. But I just couldn't take this anymore.

I stood up and ran out of our place and back into the building in which the ceremony was to take place. I ran as fast as I could and into the comfort room and tried to sort out what I'm feeling.

I knew I was rude leaving him like that. I knew it pained him to see me like that. But moments from now he was to get married with me as the maid of honor. I was crying with all my heart. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. The smiling vision of a girl was replaced by tears and the emotion of pain out in the open. I knew I looked pathetic, but I needed to smile and tell him that I was fine and I was happy for him.

I pulled myself together and fixed my make up once more and tried to hide the tear streaked eyes on my face. I sighed. Looked at myself and replaced the frown with yet another smile that I was forced to put on. I went out the comfort room. The ceremony was starting in 5 minutes.

I looked at everyone. Everyone was happy and excited. I went to take my place in to the line. I passed by Ginny, the bride. We weren't very close but I had a lot of respect for her. I smiled at her and she smiled back. I could really see in her the happiness of being in love. It pained me more to see her be that way.

I took my place in line, in front of the bride to be specific. I glanced around as I waited the ceremony to start. I suddenly saw him. And I felt like crying again, but no. Not this time. I was going to be happy for him. He caught me looking at him and when we locked eyes everything changed. He looked unhappy, saddened and pained. I recalled myself looking at those emerald eyes that now showed the same emotion as mine.

Tears started to form. Why did this have to happen? Why me? Why? Looking at those eyes made me want to comfort him. Be there with him. I was again confused as my emotions went awry with different feelings.

The music started as the people in front started to move. The music was slow but it seemed to me as something so fast. It was my turn to walk. As I started to move I pulled my face up and smiled. At this point tears were already waiting to flow on my face, but I gave my every effort in letting it not.

I caught sight of him and once again our eyes met. Emerald reflected the emotions of my blue ones. I looked away. I felt like running. I felt like it was an eternity to get there. I quickened my pace a bit. My heart was racing. I can still feel him looking at me with the same emotions I have.

I finally reached the end and took my place on the benches that was designated for me. I looked up and still see his eyes trying to catch mine. I was unable to look at him. Instead I pulled up a smile, unable to hide my emotions that were clearly shown in my eyes as were in his. He knows how I feel. He knows just by looking at me.

I looked at Ginny, ever as lovely all happy and excited to get married with Harry. Pain built up more in my heart. I felt like crying. I felt like screaming. As Ginny was nearing Harry, I've had enough.

I ran off towards the side of the hall and out of the doors into the outside towards our place. Tears were already there just the second I came out of the doors. I knew I couldn't handle it. But I can't take it already. I can't show the smile that I was forced to have all day. As I came out towards the doors leading to the outside, I felt certain drops of water hit me. It was raining. Great. Just Great.

I walked in the rain towards our place. I didn't care if I was drenched, I didn't care if I was wet. I just wanted my emotions out. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to wipe that smile off my face.

I reached our place and sat myself on one of the benches. I sighed. Harry was getting married at this very moment. It seems all of my emotions were at its height right now. It pained me to think that ill be facing the married Harry once again. Would things be the same? Would we still meet in our place?

The rain seemed to get worse as was my emotions. I felt so alone at the moment. Memories seemed to seep through my mind as I looked around the place, tears continuously flowing on my face.

I would remember the times when he would cheer me up. When I felt pissed, he was the only one who would take away the anger, pain and every bad emotion that came in me. But right now, would these emotions be taken away again?

I sighed and pulled up my knees to my chest. It was a common gesture I would do when I felt so down. I barely did this gesture. Mostly he would just hug me and continuously whisper sweet nothings to me.

I don't know if I would be able to move on. Be able to love as much as I loved him. It seems so easy yet very much complicated. How can something so sweet be so hard? Would I be able to love again? Would I open up that space in my heart to be once filled up?

I looked up at the sky, all dark and gray, raindrops continuously flowing as rapidly as my tears. I was drenched from top to toe. I stood up and walked towards the lake. The raft that once floated above it was sinking as it was very much old. Maybe that raft symbolized my love for him. Maybe it is going to fade. But still my heart took the best of my mind.

I've always wondered if I ever felt this way. I've always wondered if he felt the same way for me. What if I confessed my love? Would things be this way? Would we be still friends? Or yet would we be something more?

I'll miss his smile, his laugh, his everything. He made me happy. He always would wipe the frown on my face. He would always care for me. He would tell me that I did the same. I know I should move on, but my feeling for him still hasn't fade and I dunno if it ever will be.

I would think we were perfect for each other. I've always thought we have something between us. But I was afraid of denial. I was afraid of ruining the friendship that was built ever since we were born. And that faithful day came when he announced his engagement to Ginny. I was the first one he told, he even asked my permission. Of course playing his best friend, I pretend to be happy and said yes, but deep down the whole world came crashing down on me. Day by day I still would contemplate that memory. I would wonder and ask myself, what would happen if I said no? But his happiness was mine even if it pained me.

I love him and I would do anything just to make him happy even if it meant of ruining my chances with him, even if it meant me facing the pain that comes with it. Facing him with all these feelings of love, that every time I look at him my insides with be all tingly and every time he smiled my knees would go weak.

I remembered the time when we had our first kiss. Yes. We kissed! It happened when he was very much vulnerable. It happened at this very place, at that very tree near the lake.

"_Harry!" I arrived at our place. I was searching for him. I knew he would be here. He left the house without explaining. He left with a saddened look on his face. I knew something was wrong. Ever since he arrived at the house, just by looking at his eyes I knew something was up._

_He was sitting by the tree, his hands on his face. Just by seeing him, care and concern overtook my emotions. Just by looking at him, I wanted to run by his side and comfort him. He looked very much vulnerable. I approached him. He seemed to have noticed me as he was looking up. His eyes were tear-streaked, his face on the verge of crying more._

_Every ounce of concern and care overtook my actions as fell down beside him. I found myself crying with him. It pained me seeing him like this. _

_His head was rested on my shoulder, my arms hugging him tight, his arms around me protectively as if all he had in the world was me. We stayed like this for almost hours, just being together made both of us relaxed and calm. _

"_Blaise" he finally spoke up. _

_I looked at him. His face still had the face of vulnerability. It made me want to cry. He put his hands on my cheek as his thumb wiped my tears away. I reached up and held his arms. _

_And just like that he kissed me very gently in fact. I was taken by surprise but found myself melting in the kiss. I deepened the kiss as did he. My hands reaching up his unruly hair as his was wrapped around my waist holding me possessively_

_It lasted for minutes as every emotion of love and care was shown in that kiss. As we broke apart, both of us were flushed and out of breath. My cheeks were red as were his. We definitely were surprised at our actions. Tension was up and silence filled the air. Finally, I spoke._

"_Im sorry" I said my eyes not wanting to meet his._

"_No, I am. Forgive me Blaise. I-I didn't mean to- Im sorry. I- just didn't-" _

"_Shh." I said my fingers on his lips as I finally decided to look at him. _

"_It was an accident that we didn't have any control of. It was just basically teenage hormones." I said smiling at him. At this moment my heart was racing with different feelings that I must have mistaken for something._

"_But I'm really sorry. I didn't know what came over me. I'm just- I'm sorry." He nervously said. _

"_Hey. Don't be." I said._

"_I know but-"_

"_Harry, just forget about it ok?" I said with a look that said it was final._

"_Ok" he said. _

"_It was a good snog after all, wasn't it?"_

"_Harry!" I mock scowled at him as I punched him lightly on the arm._

_He grinned and just like that he made me smile once again._

The kiss was once long forgotten. But every emotion in me stayed. The kiss that was my first was very special to me. I would always go back to that memory and remember his lips on mine. As he held me tight and all the love he showed for me. I looked at the tree that held a significant memory in my life.

I went to the tree and sat down. I closed my eyes and remembered how I felt that night but as reality came flowing back my emotions changed very rapidly as more tears flowed on my face. I stayed like that for minutes. Minutes of thinking and trying to push away these feelings. My eyes were closed the whole time.

I didn't notice the person in front of me. Not until he spoke.

"Blaise"

My mind stopped thinking at the sound of the voice. I dared not move, talk, nor opened my eyes. I definitely knew who it was. But my instincts go the best of me as I stood up and hurriedly wiped my tear-streaked face.

"H-Harry.. What are you doing here? Where's Ginny?" I nervously said.

I did not want him seeing me like this. I did not want him seeing me unhappy on his day of happiness.

"Because I forgot to do the one thing I was supposed to do long ago."

I was completely startled as I found myself kissing Harry with all the love I had for him. I was definitely confused and broke it off quickly.

"Harry? What are you doing? You're not supposed to be here! I don't understand…" I said at top speed with a confused look on my face.

"Blaise, calm down! The whole things off! I came to realize that the love was in me was my love for you. I never knew I felt this way until now. I realized that I couldn't live without you. I realized that you are the person in my heart and cant stand the fact of losing you. I love you Blaise! I love you with all my heart."

I was definitely shocked of the heartfelt confession he gave me. I was waiting for this moment forever but can't help feel confused at the situation.

"But what about Ginny?" I said carefully yet a smile was appearing on my face.

"We broke it off at the same time. We realized we felt the love for different persons. And I realized I loved you ever since Blaise. I love you."

Tears were forming in my eyes as he said these words. He knew I returned the feeling. He knew I loved him. And he knew how much I wanted him to say that. I spoke nothing but instead just kissed him with all the love I felt for him. After minutes of kissing, he pulled back and smiled. The same smile was reflected on my face. Then he spoke,

"I always knew I could make you smile"

THE END

**Authors Notes:** My second one-shot! Hope you liked it! It's quite similar to the other one but I really do hope you'll love this. It has some flashbacks and quite AU too. Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review! Constructive criticism accepted. Thanks again:)


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